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Entry #1

I have the answers.

2009-04-10 19:57:33 by ChuckDaKnife

I'm glad you're here.
Now you're here, ask me.
Ask me anything.
Just ASK ME.


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2009-04-10 20:09:17

do you have a life and if so humor me and tell me what u do

(Updated ) ChuckDaKnife responds:

Indeed I do have a life.
From monday to friday, I study.
I spend most of the weekend hanging out with my friends.
The rest of my time, I spend it drawing, wasting my time on the net, downloading things, reading books and comics, watching movies and tv, playing videogames, eating and drinking, listening to music, playing videogames, going out for a walk, and buying weird stuff.


2009-04-10 22:22:15

whats the weirdest thing you bought

(Updated ) ChuckDaKnife responds:

Probably a sculpture made out of paper clips and spoons.
But most things I buy aren't weird, just useless.

I think the weirdest thing I own is the Superman vs. Mohammad Ali comic, but I didn't buy that, it was a gift from my uncle.


2009-04-12 16:42:58

1. What The Fuck Is Wrong With You?
2. How Much Pot Have you smoked?
3. Are You supposed to be locked in a mental institute?
4. What the hell are you doing on NG?
5. How Long have you been a drugattic?
6. Can I plant the Holy Seed Within Your Body?
7. WHy do You Worship Satan?

Get The Hell off NG!!!

ChuckDaKnife responds:

1. Not much
2. I've passively smoked some.
3. Not yet
4. Having a good time
5. I don't even know what a "drugattic" is. If you mean "drug addict", I'm not.
6. No thank you, my body has enough seeds already.
7. What? No, I don't worship Satan. I don't even BELIEVE in Satan.
8. No, I think I'm going to stay here.


2009-05-04 17:35:53

What's the largest land-bound animal?

ChuckDaKnife responds:

Probably Vin Diesel.


2009-05-05 14:26:07


ChuckDaKnife responds:

Because they were trained by Michael Jackson to be his personal raping army.


2009-05-09 17:09:59

But that means ...



Plastic Surgery FTW.

ChuckDaKnife responds:

That's not a question, Professor


2009-05-10 17:06:51

What is the purpose of this utterly useless question?

(Updated ) ChuckDaKnife responds:

It was asked to be responded by me. That's its only purpose.


2009-05-10 23:45:19

Second question: Why is it that even intellegent people can be religious, even when there is evidence that disproves god's existence?

Third quetion: The statement below is false.
...........................The statement above is true.

which statement is true?

(Updated ) ChuckDaKnife responds:

1) Being religious doesn't mean believing in a god. For example, buddhism is a non-theist religion. Anyway, there's actually NO evidence that disproves the existence of a god.

2) They both contradict each other, so neither.


2009-05-11 18:30:57

Actually, there is tons of stuff that disproves god. check out my former main account's userpage.

and I don't consider non-theist religions to actually be religions, since the very definition of a theist is one who is religious.

(Updated ) ChuckDaKnife responds:

I don't believe in god, but I don't fully deny its existence.
All those things you linked to are just arguments against its existence, but there is no actual PROOF.

Besides, those links talk about the CATHOLIC god, which isn't the only god out there.

Also, a theist is religious, but a religious doesn't have to be theist.
"Religion" is defined as "a system of practices which act according to beliefs, including belief in the existence of at least one of the following: a human soul or spirit, a deity or higher being, or self after the death of one's body".


2009-05-11 19:54:36

Well, you may be right, but still, most of the world is monotheistic, and I would say that one of those links is proof. The guy that jumped into a pit of lions exclaiming "IF GOD EXISTS HE WILL SAVE ME!" was mauled to death. This is clear evidence that god is non-existent.

ChuckDaKnife responds:

There are other monotheistic religions besides catholicism.

And that story of the jumping idiot doesn't prove anything.
Maybe there IS a god, but it just doesn't give a shit.


2009-05-11 21:38:20

Well, I understand that there are other religions, but they don't make up a very large percentage of the world.

And the story of the jumping idiot actually does prove something. It proves that god is no more intellegent than that dumbass that he should have saved. If he actually saved the man, than it would no longer be deniable that he exists. But he was too stupid to realize this, so he is not god, since he's apparently dumber than a 13-year-old (me). And I doubt that he doesn't give a shit whether anyone believes or not, because he damns all non-beleivers to hell for eternal unimaginabe torment.

(Updated ) ChuckDaKnife responds:

How can you know God damns all non-believers? That's just what some people say.

And maybe God doesn't care about us. Maybe God isn't omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient. Maybe God is really a dumbass.
So what? Does that mean it doesn't exist? Not really.


2009-05-12 05:26:36

Why can't I get an erection?

(Updated ) ChuckDaKnife responds:

Because your dick was ripped apart by one of Michael Jackson's
child-raping storks.


2009-05-12 21:59:47

However, it mean's he isn't god, because the very definition of god (in monotheism) is one who is omnipresent, omnipotent, and omnicient.

Also, if any religion where true, than the whole world would be united under one single religion.

(Updated ) ChuckDaKnife responds:

Wrong. omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient are just God's most common characteristics.

Why isn't the whole world united under a single religion?
Well, every culture created its own explanation for the universe.
Some people even create their own explanations. Do you think it's easy for them to agree with other explanations? Do you think a group of people who for centuries thought THEIR god created the universe, will easily accept a different god? Not at all.
Maybe there IS a true religion.
The hard thing is to find it.
Perhaps it is chatolicism, or judhaism, or buddhism, or maybe NONE OF THEM.
But we don't know it, and we probably never will. Why?
Because we have no proofs. No proofs of the existence of a god, and no proofs of the non-existence of one. And unless God comes down one day and says "Hey, look, I exist!", we'll never any proof. Interestingly, although we could get a proof of god's existence, its impossible to find a proof of its non-existence.

But let's stop for a minute and ask ourselves: does it really matter?
God may or may not be real. Just like this world, just like you and I.
But does it really matter? As long as we can accept everyone's beliefs and live together in harmony (uthopical, I know), it doesn't matter who's right. Because we're probably all wrong.


2009-05-13 23:56:12

Well, if any religion where ture, don't you think that the gods of that religion would want the whole world to know of their existence? I sure do, and even if they don't even give a shit, why worship gods that don't even give a shit about you?

Also, none of the founders of religions where completely sane. They made the religions up, probably getting their ideas from hallucinations they may have experienced while smokeing some kind of drug. There is only like a 1 in 1,000,000 chance of ANY religion being true, since there is no evidence of any being true. That is only a vague estimate, but it is actually probably even less likely than the probability I just said.

Think of all the possible conclusions that they could have come to with those hallucinations. What do you think the chances are that they would have been led to belleive the most commonly beleived scientific explanation of the universe, that it began with The Big Bang and that it is billions of years old? How likely do you think it is that they would have been led to the conclusion that we evolved from monkeys? Not very likely.

ChuckDaKnife responds:

The chance is actually much more smaller than 1 in 1,000,000, but ithere's still a chance. A chance is a chance, no matter how small.


2009-05-14 00:04:56

Also, you may not be able to disprove the existence of a god, but, come to think of it, you can't disprove the fact that we are actually in the matrix. You can't disprove the fact that magical unicorns inhabit my room either. Yet I am not led to beleive that any of these asumptions are true. Why? because they are completely rediculous, absolutely absurd, just like the asumption that god exists.

ChuckDaKnife responds:

We COULD be in the Matrix. There COULD be magical unicorns. There COULD be a god. We'll never know. But as I said before, it doesn't really matter.


2009-05-16 20:05:38

Will you help me destroy somebody's account

ChuckDaKnife responds:

I wouldn't even If I knew how


2009-05-16 22:09:19

A chance is a chance, but actually, the chance of any religion being true is smaller than the chance that I'll be struck by lightning right now (and I'm indoors.) It's also smaller than the chance of finding a dinosaur buried in my backyard.

(Updated ) ChuckDaKnife responds:

There's one difference: you can confirm there's not a dinosaur buried in your backyard. You CAN'T confirm there is/isn't a god.


2009-05-17 22:21:38

Well, the chance is still small enough for me. If there's no proof, than it doen't exist. Sure, there's a small chance of it being true, but the chance is so small, you can be as certain that it is false. You can be certain that the sun will rise tomorrow, but there still IS a chance that it won't, you just need scientific notation to express that probabillity, just like the probabillity that god exists.

ChuckDaKnife responds:

If a chance is too small, it can still be true. It's still a chance.


2009-05-22 21:03:06


ChuckDaKnife responds:

Most definetely.


2009-05-22 21:41:39

Where is Cthulhu EXACTLY?

ChuckDaKnife responds:

He's supposed to be sleeping in the sunken city of R'lyeh in the south pacific, but I often see him attending strip-clubs.


2009-05-28 23:07:48

Though there is still a chance that god exists, one can be certain that he is not worth worshiping, considering all of the horrible things that go on every day which god obviously does nothing to stop.

ChuckDaKnife responds:

Maybe It's not worth it, I don't know. Let's put an end to the discussion.


2009-05-28 23:11:35

New question: Why hasn't this guy's account been deleted yet?

ChuckDaKnife responds:

Because it's an endess supply of fun.


2009-05-29 21:51:29

Lol yeah, because what could possibly be more fun than flaming some fag on the internet?

ChuckDaKnife responds:

Flaming TWO fags on the internet.


2009-05-29 23:50:42


ChuckDaKnife responds:

It is the natural number that comes right after 1.


2009-05-30 16:13:03

What'll happen when someone gives you a question and you don't have the answers, or the means with which to ascertain said information?

(Updated ) ChuckDaKnife responds:

The universe will collide into itself, causing a massive tear in the fabric of time and space, which will unleash a destructive army of giant flesh-eating samurai pandas wielding chainsaws.

Fortunately, MJ's Raping Storks will save us from the pandas.


2009-05-30 16:48:56

NEW QUESTION: (again): What is the answer to this question?

ChuckDaKnife responds:

This one


2009-05-30 17:52:08

But I only counted ONE fag on that page, and that would be 2hot2rock.

ChuckDaKnife responds:

I know.
I just said that flaming 2 fags is more fun than flaming just one.


2009-05-30 18:53:50

Oh, lol.

What about THREE fags?

ChuckDaKnife responds:



2009-05-30 23:22:27

Is it possible to answer this question with anything other than "yes" "no" "maybe" "possibly" etc?

Is this question a total waste of text?

Why do I keep asking questions?

Why do I love asking these kinds of questions?

ChuckDaKnife responds:

1) I think so

2) You can't waste text, since it's not a limited resource

3) Because you don't have anything better to do

4) See answer 3


2009-05-31 00:30:18

How can I get to rank 45 in less then a week?

ChuckDaKnife responds:

Two words:


2009-06-05 00:08:19

Is this a question.

(Updated ) ChuckDaKnife responds:

I had something really clever to say about this comment but I forgot what it was so FUCK IT.


2009-06-08 23:51:21

This is not a question?

ChuckDaKnife responds:

No, it is.


2009-06-12 19:33:23

What is the purpose of loving?

ChuckDaKnife responds:

Being loved back.


2009-06-16 16:26:40

why does god hate gays?

ChuckDaKnife responds:

He does? Oh,
Well, I guess it's a childhood trauma or something like that.


2009-06-16 22:27:29

Are you capable of answering this question?

HINT: "yes" is not an answer.

ChuckDaKnife responds:

I am capable. Actually, I'm doing it now.


2009-06-20 23:50:37

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

ChuckDaKnife responds:

I've never even made it without biting. Ask Mr. Owl, for he is the wisest of us all.


2009-06-21 10:49:04

1: 42 <-- If this is the answer, what is the question?
2: Why does good food always come from other countries?
3: Where's my cat Alice gone? :(
4: Do you watch Mock the Week?

ChuckDaKnife responds:

1) I only give answers, not questions.
2) Because the grass is always greener in the other side.
3) She went to Wonderland.
4) I didn't even know it existed.


2009-06-21 11:31:45

Why is a cow?

ChuckDaKnife responds:

because foxes eat pinapples


2009-06-21 16:12:30

How do you refine uranium?

ChuckDaKnife responds:

A journey through your digestive system should do the trick.


2009-06-21 21:34:17

I've actually counted the number before, it took me about 790 licks.

But Most people come up with a number around 413 or so :P


2009-06-22 14:05:10

if you had to tattoo your penis what would it be

ChuckDaKnife responds:

"If you can read this whole scentence, you have turned me on"


2009-09-07 16:22:51

Do you want the moustache on or off?

ChuckDaKnife responds: